In my life there’s been heartache and pain. I don’t know if I can face it again. Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far… to change this lonely life.

So this song came on and I can’t help but think of Rock of Ages every time I hear it. And it really bugs the crap out of me that I can’t find the disk for the movie. I might need to buy it again because I think it’s lost forever now. I haven’t seen it since I moved. I have a feeling it’s in my Xbox… and I haven’t plugged that in at the new place because I have the BluRay in my room now instead. Russell Brand is fabulous in that movie and I crack up every time I watch him and Alec Baldwin in the scene. I honestly can’t believe they signed on for those parts but that’s who they are. If they aren’t embarrassing themselves then they’re not doing comedy right. End of story, lol.

Moving on, I’m sitting here at nearly 11pm on a Monday night and I get to go home for Christmas Wednesday afternoon. I hope the weather doesn’t suck too bad because I have to drive 2.5 hours in it on Xmas eve to get to Nana’s and Poppop’s house. I have a feeling I will JUST make it for dinner and I really hope that’s not the case. I want some me time once I get there before showing up to the family. But… knowing my luck that won’t happen at all and I’ll get there and Nikki will be all like omg you’re late what happened to my Christmas picture.. or worse, they’ll take it without me. >.< Which is always what happens.

I’m hoping for a good Christmas this year though. I don’t need anything fancy… but who knows. There are a few things I did want but mostly I need money. I’d love for like straight up cash to be able to pay bills. Is that sad? I mean, I’m asking for money for Christmas to be able to live. Isn’t Christmas for giving and getting things you may not need but want? What has happened to the Christmas spirit? I’m not even in the mood this year for Christmas. I’ve been drained of energy and just dull as of late and I can’t help it. It doesn’t feel like Christmas and it doesn’t feel like it’s been a whole year since so much crap went down.. yet it’s still there in my mind and it sucks. I need a long long vacation on the West Coast or something and/or to never come back. I hope this next year will be better than this – it has been the craziest year of my life and I prefer not to remember alot of it in a way.. and no one can hate me for that.

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It’s time we all reach out for something new

Yes, that’s Purple Rain lyrics.. It just came on my radio station on Google Play and I giggled like a school girl because I love this song so much. Hate me, I dare you. How can anyone NOT like this song? You’re not human if you don’t know of or don’t like this song and I won’t talk to you. And that’s the bottom line. (Stone Cold reference, if you will… not every day you see Prince and Stone Cold in a sentence now is it?)

Anyway, more later on. I was just a little bored and needed something to do I think and I wrote a blog today in work, but I can’t type it there so this is mostly from memory. It was nothing special but I had some free time today and instead of wasting it, I did something for myself for once. Even if it was writing down ideas for blogs. Sue me. I think I’m going to head to sleep, it’s late and I have to be up at 630am for work tomorrow… and then do some stuff including packing after work so I can get home to NJ right after work Wednesday.

Please let this holiday go RIGHT since it was supposed to be different than what it is.. please let me enjoy it and feel happy for once.. But I know that’s a long shot. We’ll see what happens.

Cheers!

Merry Grumpy Christmas!

xoxox

||KoralDawn||